Vibe Check #17

January 2024 was a lovely month, really. We ended up celebrating a few delayed Christmases, so the festive period itself didn't tear through my stamina. It also meant that I didn't really feel The Blues, because every other week I was going to a family household and getting wined and dined.

It also sunk that I am getting married this year - less than two hundred days. It feels exactly as you'd think: a bit scary but mostly exciting. There's a lot of things to plan for a wedding in 2024, but just start at the centre and work out.

Despite being the dead of winter, I spent more hours on my bike (with Strava running, at least) than I did in any month of 2023. I love cycling, it's legitimately so much fun and I don't know why I spent the last seven months of last year doing basically minimal hours on the bike outside. Oxfordshire's been blessed with dry, sometimes even sunny, days. It's turned windy this last week, and I hate cycling in the wind.

I've also got back into my winter reading rhythm, mostly with physical books. This month I finished:

  • The House in the Cerulean Sea, by TJ Klune. A cute queer romance story, very drinkable, won't read again but I'm glad I did.
  • The Shadow Cabinet, by Juno Dawson. The sequel to my favourite book of 2023, perhaps too drinkable. I'm excited to see where the series goes, and for the historic prequel novel slated for later this year. Everybody who reads fantasy should read this series.
  • The Dog of the North, by Elizabeth McKenzie. I'm not sure if the "slice of life" descriptor is new, or just new-to-me, but this book fits that. It takes place over only a couple of (unusually eventful) weeks in a woman's life in California. It was a nominee for the Women's Prize last year, and I think the subtler notes were lost on my burned-out tastebuds. I am glad I read it, but found myself thinking "okay" a lot. Like when someone tells your their dreams.

Basically all of my creative energy has gone into the design and construction of my wedding suit. Both the waistcoat and trousers are now to be hand-finished (largely buttons buttonholes). I finished constructing a shirt but ultimately find myself unsatisfied with the cut, so I'm re-cutting another garment. I suspect I'll have a day shirt and an evening shirt. It'll be a long day so I reckon I'll be glad. Jacket/Coat progress has stalled behind these other garments, but I'd rather not split my focus.

I can't recall if I've written about it before, but the emotional turmoil of not doing the "correct" lean/agile/kaizen thing here of a) one thing at a time, and b) the most uncertain things first, has caused me serious emotional distress.

I am at least eighty percent sure it's the right choice for minimising my anxiety, which I think it caused because my brain equally weights the garments (making a shirt != making a jacket, at all really) and underweights cutting, construction, and hand finishing (in terms of hours, hand-finishing is a lot). If I was a professional garment maker I'd want to know what the actual right thing to do here is.

I'm not, I'm just making the clothes I'll wear on the most photographed day of my life. Something I need to do once, and non-reproducibly.

Lastly, I toyed around with film photography this month, using the old Nikon (FG-20) that my parents had in their attic, and which took all the photos of baby Wilson. Some problems with the shutter (probably caused by non-use) rendered two rolls of film underwhelming and with exposure banding (the bottom half of the photos is basically black, thanks to the shutter coming from bottom-top of the frame).

I think I want to invest in a moderate film camera soon, I love the glimpses of photos that came through in development, truly. I love the emotional attachment and idea of the camera, but I think the reality is a little bit overwhelming.

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