A younger, self-obsessed, version of me thought the details of "expertise" (completely devoid of context) were the secret. I think that attitude actually helped lay a pretty solid foundation to my professional past-lives, but I have tried hard to move on from it.
I missed a few things, like the context of not being a relatively wealthy man in a metropolitan area in the western world, and also, like, the absolute joy of doing things slowly.
But there's something in there that really engages my brain. It's the same part that loves to watch strangers doing cool things on their laptops in public. Like when I watched a guy do something that resembled gene sequencing or protein visualisation on a train, or watching someone who really gets photo editing blitz through like a hundred photos in five minutes.
Most recently, it's been about looking at every detail of the bespoke suit jackets in my wardrobe (I am learning to make my own clothes).
Whatever I have become convincingly good at (making clothes, writing software) - it becomes about seeing. About learning to see. Things like:
- The order of assembly for a waistband: how has the lining gone under the waistband facing without showing through on the other side?
- Setting pace in a run or cycle: seeing elevation gain now and over the next 1-2k, is now really the time to open the gas if the 14% incline coming up will bonk you, and run on to the next forty kilometres?
- Seeing process as waste in software development: is getting "design sign off" a way of increasing value delivery to customer, or is it going to result in stronger segregation of responsibilities (i.e. reduced collaboration) and longer time-to-delivery of value (i.e. slower value streams).
Learning to see the details takes time.
What's worse, there are so many false-friends between ways of seeing - things that feel intuitive but are wrong. The discipline of software development in particular is a minefield of "you'd think so, but it's actually completely the opposite".
I have seen myself struggle with the most real-world truths: that going fast now in this one kilometre stretch doesn't mean that every kilometre after is going to be okay. Adding in additional fabric to a pattern over here will cause drape everywhere else.
On the plus side, I am pretty good at getting the abstract.
I think this is good to remember: that the problems or frustrations or ignorance I have are probably connected. The reason why the shirts I make are too loose is probably also the reason the trousers I make are too tight.
Which means that if I can just learn to see better - I will fix at least two problems at once.
Or more likely: I'll stumble on the next problem.
Learning to see differently is hard. Which is sort of a circular reference: difficult things are the things where you have to look at the problems with a new (to you) way of thinking; things are easy when you look at them the way an athelete/engineer/designer would; it is difficult to learn a new way to see a problem.
I did a PhD in chemical education - I spent four whole years thinking quite deeply about how seeing the world, and "seeing" the molecules in your mental model of the world, can help explain things.
Look, learn to see, or try to change the way you see.
And when you learn to see differently, know that you did a hard thing. A really impactful hard thing.
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